While Venus and the Moon present one pair of issues around intimacy, the 7th and 8th houses present another. The 7th is the traditional house of marriage or primary partnership. The 8th, though, is the "body" of the relationship, the place where the meeting begun in the 7th is consummated. If a partner meets the symbolism of the 7th, but not the 8th house, it's likely that the relationship will not deepen. The front may be fine, but the core may stay unfulfilled. If the 8th house contact is good, but the 7th is not, you might not even meet the other person. Since there are often different signs on the cusps of the 7th and 8th houses, signs that are adjacent to one another, not natural allies (i.e. trine or sextile one another), the implication is that intimate relationships require several different qualities to make them work. Connecting at a deep level is not like putting a key into a lock and turning it. It's more like a combination lock in which a number of different pieces need to fit into place before it opens. Since houses 7 and 8 refer to "others" they are ripe for projection. This means that rather than expressing ourselves in these areas of the chart we seek partners to fulfill their qualities for us. If you have Mars in the 7th you may seek out partners who are dynamic, independent self-starters. While this is not inappropriate, the concern is that you will not be dynamic, independent or a self-starter yourself. This is projection, giving away parts of yourself to others. The 7th and 8th houses (as well as the rest of the chart for that matter) are about you. They are about the qualities you need to express in any partnership. Ideally, your partner will support these qualities in you. If not, the relationship will not be a place of growth. The 7th and 8th houses are about you. Don't give them away to someone else. What is compatibility? Astrological convention holds that harmonious aspects between charts are the significant factors for a positive relationship. Certainly, a degree of harmony (or similarity) is necessary for successful partnership. However, it may be useful to have a blend of challenging and easy aspects for best results. For example, Venus and Mars have a great deal to do with sexual compatibility. Mutual trines and sextiles can make for an easy flow of energy, yet that might become boring over time. However, some harmony mixed with a challenging aspect, i.e. your Venus is trine your partner's Mars, your partner's Venus is opposite yours, can keep a level of dynamism that will continue to make sex an interesting subject for you two. Couples tend to create their own little universe. If both agree on something then it must be true. This can limit the development of the two individuals when their charts, or parts of them, are too similar. What's called compatibility may simply be shared neuroses. It is useful, then, that couples don't have all their planets align harmoniously. A little tension not only makes life interesting, but it helps keep perspective in the partnership. The esoteric writer Dion Fortune believed that an ideal relationship showed alternating similarity and dissimilarity between the seven chakras. This pattern may deepen a relationship by bringing the right balance of the old and new so that a relationship grows, rather than remain static. It's also true that some people don't want or need traditional compatibility. If Uranus is in your 7th or 8th house you likely
need to experience differences through relationship, to be awakened to new patterns. Gravitating to someone who is very different than you
doesn't have to be a disaster. With a few key positive connections to hold the relationship together, it might be just what you need. These key
connections are most likely to involve the Moon, Sun, 1st-7th axis or the Moon's Nodes. These are all critical points that can provide the glue
to help a couple work through their differences and maintain a growing partnership. Sometimes you'll see a chart with wonderful Venus and Mars
aspects, but if none of these key points are included it's not likely that the relationship will endure. When I do compatibility analysis for a couple I don't start by comparing the two natal charts. I begin by examining each chart
individually. This provides the foundation for understanding the couple because it recognizes the individuality of each of the partners. The
natal chart is the key to intimacy. For example, it is very difficult to receive love from someone else when you are unable to give it to
yourself. The primary work in counseling couples is to help each person become aware of his or her issues and needs. When a person has a healthy
respect for self and a willingness to be vulnerable the doors of intimacy open. The ground of a healthy relationship is two healthy individuals.
Health here is not about perfection, total clarity or lack of ignorance. Health is the willingness to learn, to open ourselves, to speak and to
listen. When this kind of aliveness is present intimacy arrives. And, with continued care and watering, it will flourish for a long, long
time. For more astrology information, see: Astrology Charts, Readings plus Free Daily Horoscopes To Get Your Own Personal Astrology Reports, See:
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